Fun to see Suella Braverman attempt to weigh-in on a legal matter again this week. It’s like watching your Granddad try to operate the Sky box. Braverman (the World King’s beloved Attorney General), you may recall was very much upfront and centre when the Johnson clown-cart decided it was going to break international law. “It’s only in a limited and specific way,” offered then Northern Ireland secretary, Brandon Lewis, with all the charm of a killer in the dock pleading "No, you've got it all wrong. I just had sex with the body". Around the same time it was reported Braverman uttered the words: “I know I should resign on principle but I have a fucking mortgage, alright?”. That's a lie. I just made that up. But you can totally imagine her saying that, right? I mean, right? Instead of resigning, though, she defended the indefensible. A Cambridge-educated lawyer and now Attorney General, you might think? hope? pray? one of the bullet points on her CV or the Job-Spec would be "upholds the law". But instead she tied herself in Brexity, pro-Johnson knots, suggesting it was okay to break the law because Governments have to honour referendum results. No matter the cost, presumably. No mention of whether Govts have a legal obligation to be honest about the propositions made in referenda or indeed whether Govt hold some responsibility for the implementation of a referendum result in a way that aligns with International Law. Just that we were leaving the E.U. - and if that means committing a few crimes that trash our international reputation along the way, well, to adopt a Patelism, I'm sorry if you feeeeeel a few crimes were committed, etc etc. This week of course she’s weighing-in on a different legal matter: that fucking Bristol statue. Jesus Christ. I can’t help but wonder if her colleagues view said ‘weighing-in’ in the same way I do when my young children decide they’re going to ‘help’ me with something. Following the Jury’s decision to acquit the protesters, Braverman, again, went public to support Johnson's Culture War line - but marketed it as a need to clear up ‘confusion’ over the verdict. “Trial by jury is an important guardian of liberty & must not be undermined," she tweeted. "However, the decision in the Colston statue case is causing confusion. Without affecting the result of this case, as Attorney General, I am able to refer matters to the Court of Appeal so that senior judges have the opportunity to clarify the law for future cases. I am carefully considering whether to do so” How reassuring that the AG who had no issue with sacrificing the law at the altar of Brexit, condemning millions to higher energy costs, petrol shortages and redundancies - is now so unsettled by the lack of justice received by a lifeless iron statue that she feels compelled to intervene. I cannot be the only one who marvels at the attention, nay justice gifted to statues these days. They are our most precious minority. The protections and rights afforded them are really, err, something to behold. In fact, if it transpired a few months from now that iron statues had GOT THE VOTE, it may be one of the few times since 2016, I could sigh “ah, this all makes perfect sense”. Put simply, these people care more about statues at the bottom of a dock than dead children at the bottom of the Channel. Of course, in these dark times, you could be forgiven for thinking that - once again - the political discourse is being intentionally derailed. We should be talking about the Climate Crisis, attempting to reverse or mitigate Brexit in some way and overhauling Parliamentary processes so they're fit for purpose in a changing and unstable world. Job automation. It's endless. Instead here we are again wanking ourselves stupid over symbolism and Britishness. And yet, it does sort of feel like the tectonic plates are shifting, doesn’t it? Labour have been ahead in the polls for weeks. Johnson’s personal disapproval rating has never been so bad (readers may wonder: how can a populist so intent on being liked be so fucking hated?). His administration are about to be spanked with the latest output of his Brexit project, the Press have at last begun to appraise whether Brexit is or could ever be a success - and we’re not even at the peak of Omicron but tests have run out twice and multiple hospitals have declared themselves at “critical incident” stage already. And all of that comes against a backdrop of illegal Christmas Parties, Paterson/2nd Jobs, Cummings, No 10 Refurb Costs; The calculation by Team Johnson (and his most-trusted client journalists) is that you and I will be so incensed by a Statue, a Poppy, The Proms or the National Anthem that we won’t care when they break their own rules, accept cash from donors in exchange for influence/unfair advantage and so on. That they can distract us always because we're so thick or that we actually accept that they are our betters and we should just put up with it. It is a contempt for the people you work for rarely seen outside of a Civil Servant's tweet. But it's a deadly miscalculation on their part, in my opinion.. People don’t like when a bunch of Wokies throw history in the dock, sure. But they REALLY don’t like being taken for mugs. It's the difference between having something to belch about in-between two rounds of the pub quiz - and feeling viscerally like you've been taken for a ride. It's a parking ticket vs a clamping and £500 release-fee. Perhaps that’s why Labour hardly made a dent in the Tory lead over the past half-decade: they made the mistake of engaging over substance rather than the witless silver-spoon cuntery that dominates the Conservative Party. But here's the kicker: because it’s so obvious, and so habitual and deep rooted - it’s built up quite a depth of feeling, hasn't it? It’s become who they are. Because it is, largely, who they are. It’s not a policy they decided to try and it hasn’t worked out or something they can change. It's a style of Government embodied by the privileged, selfish and horny Albino Yeti at the top and celebrated by every one of his careerist yes-men below. This govt is callous, rotten and corrupt to the core. They will continue to behave in such a manner as reliably as they will continue to bat away criticism using piecemeal Culture War nonsense. The question we have to ask ourselves is this: When our energy bills sky-rocket, petrol soars, your brother's logistics company goes under and three more of your relatives die from Covid because a new Health Secretary handed the ventilator contract to Clipper Logistics and they actually supplied halloween masks with inhalers sellotaped to the inside... Are you going to be angry at the Government? Or will you be distracted by Kwasi Kwarteng going on LBC and vomiting some nonsense, like "we're announcing the return of the Great British Red Phone-Box and Wokies Can't Stand It!". My money's on the fact that people will be more angry that they're enveloping in debt and the Govt are shit. Btw - I'm taking the piss with the return of the redundant red phone boxes, but don't dismiss it out of hand. They were made out of iron too.
