The World Cup is about to begin (20th November) and Britain could not be more ready. Name a better time! I mean, some say it’s best to have this sort of tournament in the Summer, when punters can pack out the pubs and spill out onto the streets; but no - for me, personally, the idea of having something fun to watch in the crosshairs of the NHS winter crisis, the Cost of Living Crisis, the Housing Crisis, the Climate Crisis, the War in Ukraine, Recession, Covid, and our Mortgages exploding - it's… Well, it's a welcome distraction. Feels like getting a blow-job while sitting on the conveyor-belt of an abattoir. Last time (Euro 2020) the England Team did unexpectedly well! Goals, wins, impressive draws, LGBTQ armbands; For a football-cynic like me it was honestly that rare moment of beauty. Not only did I get to enjoy the visage of a group of young men with the right (progressive) attitudes looking fantastic on the international stage - but I got to see performative twunt puppies like Priti Patel and Lee Anderson squirm after having mocked the team only a week before. “Not. My. England.” their disciples tweeted. “The national team’s gone WOKE!” others duly frothed. Anderson was a particular favourite. He boycotted EVERY England game over the team’s “taking the knee” gesture. It was as pathetic as it was hilarious. Where "shit" and "comedy" meet (outside of James Corden obvs). The gesture is a mark against racism. It’s a simple, harmless manoeuvre that’s akin to saying “I know there’s people out there suffering. And I’m up here. But please know that I’m still with you.”. A sort of… way of bringing attention back to racism, of saying it’s still a thing. Anderson taking issue with it not only promoted his own ignorance but spectacularly proved their point. “We’d like to make a gesture to show we’re adamantly, unshakeably anti-racist.” “Fine, but I fundamentally disagree with your right to take a stand against oppression”. “Right. I mean, you’re in a position of power and influence and you’re seeking to trivialise someone else's struggle. So that in and of itself is oppressive.” <Anderson spits his crayons out> “Not. My. England.” Fans of this genre of crettiny would do well to look-out for similar blowhards waxing lyrical about how they "don't do gestures" mere *days* after crucifying half of TV-world for not wearing a poppy. Keep your eyes peeled. For these dignified, reserved types will no doubt wish to remain quiet throughout the tournament but if you really try you might just spot one... I digress. Anyway, so the optics of a grey-haired, rich, white guy telling people-of-colour to “pipe down!” aside… the 2020 comp was something of a uniter. It really felt like the first time in ages that the Brexit divide had taken a holiday. Brexiter mates with Remainer drinking buds. Tories watching games with Union tub-thumpers. For the first time in years, it felt like a coming together might be possible after all? I mean... you still have to be realistic, right? Some things are fundamentally not fixable. Ben Affleck and J-Lo got back together. Fine. But Oasis reuniting? Probably not. But this felt different. Like it might've been the first greenshoots of a calming in the Culture War. Unfortunately the May Govt of the time (egged on by the Mail) saw the Euros as a hiatus rather than a fresh start and - within a couple of days of the Final - were back to bashing the EU for not capitulating to the Tory Right’s demands to set fire to Northern Ireland. Global Britain, take a bow. Whatever happens with this England Team, with this tournament, let’s try and keep the unity going this time. People love to say Keep The Politics Out Of Sport but these moments are that rarest of opportunities to try and build bridges. In increasingly divided times. It starts with having a beer and cheering on the team. It can end with us having re-humanised remoaners to the Brexity headbangers. Let's celebrate the countries of the world and the coming together and the positivity that can bring... God knows with Trump back on Twitter, the War raging-on and the impending climate meltdown, a bit of international unity might be just what we need.
